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2020.09.19 13:38 DoekaanETWhat your smash main says about you:
Mario: You easily suffer from choice paralysis and always make the most boring and default choice. Your favorite ice cream is vanilla, your favorite color is blue, your favorite animal is dog, and your favorite movie is The Godfather. If you were in Nazi Germany, you would 100% use the “just following orders” defense. You will go to Hell when you die. Inkling: Why don’t you have a seat? What were you planning when you came here tonight? King Dedede: You masturbate to Deviantart ironically. Meta Knight: You masturbate to Deviantart unironically. Peach: You’re the girlfriend of the guy who bought this game. You thought Link’s name was Zelda and Samus’ name was Metroid. After 15 minutes, you’re gonna want to go back to playing Mario Kart. Daisy: The same as Peach, except you’re a lesbian. Bayonetta: You have said “Rawr XD” at some point in your life, and use Facebook to post memes about depression. It’s getting impossible to tell where your stretch marks end and your self-harm scars begin. You are bisexual. Wolf: You are either currently 14 years old, or you were 14 years old when Brawl came out, and haven’t matured at all beyond that. You watch way too much anime, you’ll never improve as an artist, and your OTP sucks Corrin: You unironically own multiple anime figurines, a body pillow of your waifu, and a katana. You’re either a furry or have a shitty OC that’s half dragon, half demon, and half vampire. You either have autism or are just an oblivious asshole with no social skills, it’s hard to tell. Squirtle: You bought the Switch and this game on launch day. You threw a tantrum when Fox stopped showing Saturday morning cartoons. Your mom wishes you’d move out of the house. Ivysaur: You’ve got weird arm and back acne. You like to pretend you main all three of the Pokemon, but everyone can see right through you. You love cute animals, but if you ever tried to take care of one by yourself, it’d die in a week. Charizard: You are a basic ass bitch. You spent the first 5 matches spamming smash attacks and your side B. You’re the only one on this list who has gotten laid recently, but it doesn’t matter because you lasted a minute. Donkey Kong: You actually hate playing Smash, and everyone playing with you. You don’t play to win, you play to inspire the greatest amount of anger around you. You cannot go 48 hours without saying the N word. Hard R. Jigglypuff: You were born incomplete. Some piece of you is missing. Maybe it’s the part of your brain that dictates rational choice, or the part that controls empathy. Maybe it’s your impulse control. Maybe, just maybe, you were born without a soul. You started small, at first. Mice and squirrels, and then you grew bolder. Your neighbor’s cat had gotten outside. She would never find the poor thing. Your parents soon discovered what you did, and their punishments forced you to keep dormant your dark desires. You carried on with your life, feigning normalcy, a model student and son. That was until the day you met her. It was autumn, your first semester at college, your first time away from home. She stirred something in you. You took her out, flirted with her, bought her drinks, she was so pure and sweet, so trusting. You left with her, the intoxication swelling inside you both. She tripped, you caught her. You looked at her then. She was so beautiful, so alive. You cut her open. You cut her open because you had to know. Why was she so beautiful? How was she so alive? You cut and cut until she was no longer beautiful, no longer alive. You stared at what you had done, tears in your eyes, not from guilt or remorse, only the pure reflex, as though you knew you should cry, but didn’t understand why. When you came back down to a neutral calm, you disposed of the body, washed yourself of any and all evidence. You knew the first thing you needed to do was establish an alibi. You called up your roommate: “Hey” you said “Wanna hang out tonight?” Your roommate replied “Sure, my friend brought over his Switch, we’re gonna play Smash Ultimate.” You smiled, licking the final traces of viscera from your teeth, and said “Great, I’ll be there in 10.” Kirby: You are Masahiro Sakurai, desperately trying to convince everybody that your favorite boy is best. Put Mappy in the game you fucking cunt. Lucina: You are the comedic straightman of your group. You go through life with two moods, neutrality or exasperation at your louder, more fun friends. Your spirit animal is Squidward and, like Squidward, you are the top sad boy. At least your cats love you. Chrom: You’re the mouthbreathing kind of weeb. You have objectively bad taste. You either want Goku and Sora in Smash, or you want the entire roster replaced with other characters from Fire Emblem. Little Mac: You have a 2 digit IQ, and managing air combat is too much for you. You have eaten at least three Joycons since you started playing Smash. Your go-to excuses for losing are bad recovery moves and the helmet you’re forced to wear falling in front of your eyes. Robin: You have LARPed before. Ironically, considering the game your main comes from, your best friend is a Chrom main. You honestly can do better than hanging out with them, but then you’d have to find a new 4th for your D&D group. Sonic: You’re just a sad person. Either because you’ve got the specific kind of autism that develops in fans of Sonic the Hedgehog, or because you’ll inevitably be lumped in with those people. You know deep down the speed isn’t worth the pain you feel inside. You ask yourself why you keep playing, but you can never come to an answer. You can’t outrun your problems, Sonic main. Pichu: You didn’t know that your attacks did damage to you until someone pointed it out to you, and you didn’t want to look like an idiot, so you pretended like you knew that. In a panic, you came up with some lie about how Pichu is actually really good, and now you’re just sorta stuck with it. Pikachu: You are the boyfriend of a Peach main. You don’t actually like playing Pikachu that much, it’s just that whenever she gets bored playing, she’ll just sit and watch you play, but demand you play as Pikachu because “it’s so cute.” Even when you’re playing with your friends, and you really want to win, you curse yourself and choose Pikachu. Ness: You love Earthbound. You have also never played Earthbound, you just know it by reputation. You also love Undertale, and you probably voted it as game of the year when it came out. You like to think you’re really skilled at Ness, but when things get too hard, you just spam PK Fire and the baseball bat. You’re not impressing anyone. Fox: You played Smash Ultimate for 5 minutes, saw all the items and stages, got mad, and went back to Melee. You’re currently waiting for the Project M version of Ultimate. You get the saltiest out of everyone on the list. You have told someone who doesn’t like Dark Souls to git gud. Duck Hunt: You’re like a Donkey Kong main without the hate, or a Jigglypuff main without the urge to kill. When the Duck Hunt dog laughs at someone for not shooting all the ducks, you feel that on spiritual level. You are probably the happiest person on this list, which makes other people angry, and in turn, only makes you happier. Zelda: You secretly crossdress and are ashamed of it. Within 5 years, you’ll gradually become more and more comfortable with it, until you eventually become a really obnoxious drag queen. Like, the kind that only watches Ru Paul’s Drag Race and nothing else. Regardless, you spam Din’s Fire like a motherfucker, just like everyone else who plays Zelda. Link: You’re boring and suck ass. You play as Oddjob in Goldeneye and use the rocket launcher in Halo. There’s a good chance you’re the least skilled player on the list and don’t even know it. Your favorite skin is the Dark Link skin, because of course it fucking is. R.O.B: You have a video game collection that’s about the cost of a mortgage. You have at least 6 or 7 Game Gears, a fully functional arcade cabinet, and a R.O.B which you brag about whenever you play Smash with new people. If you could have one wish, it would be to work for Nintendo. Snake: You think gamers are the most oppressed minority, and the reason for why Quiet from MGSV is half-naked makes total sense and is genius writing. You respond to news stories about black criminals with something racist, and then cite average IQ scores to defend yourself. If there’s a comment section attached to this list, you’ll leave an angry comment about being called racist. Bowser: You’re a divorced dad in your 40s who bought a Switch to try to win your son’s affections for when he comes over on alternating weekends. You picked Bowser because you thought it would be cute to do Team Smash with him as Bowser and Bowser Jr., but whenever your kid comes over, he only ever plays something called Fortnite. You tried it out, and it was too scary and confusing, so now you just drink and play Smash because at least you recognize the characters. Your ex’s new husband is a better and more attentive lover than you ever will be. Mewtwo: Unlocking Mewtwo in Melee by spending a total of 20 hours in VS matches was the greatest accomplishment of your sad, pathetic life. Conversely, Mewtwo being replaced by Lucario in Brawl was the worst tragedy you have ever experienced. You got the Smash 4 DLC just to bring some meaning back into your life. Out of all the Pokemon mains, you are the only one who is still an avid Pokemon player. You are the most likely person on this list to kill yourself. Ike: You totally go to the gym all the time and drink all those protein shakes. For reals though this faggot is a slow faggot who couldn’t air recover if his life depended on it. Honest to god you might as well just admit your a fagot who just wants to pretend he’s Guts so you can make your peepee big. Or better yet you circlejerk on smashbros about how much Sakurai is biased. Captain Falcon: Loudest player on the list. Will scream Captain Falcon quotes and be one of the most frequent taunters. Is retarded, but only for attention. If anyone in the list is drunk right now, it’s you. If you get a KO with Falcon Punch, you will never shut the fuck up about it. Incineroar: You’re 10. You only picked this character because you picked Litten in Pokemon Sun or Moon. You only picked Litten because it was the Fire starter and you thought Fire was cooler than Grass or Water. Even you think it’s dumb that one of Incineroar’s special moves is a counter. You will either pick a different main or lose all of your friends. Simon: You are roughly 40 years old and racist. Not as racist as the Snake main, but still racist. The “deus vult” kind of racist. Despite this, you have a thing for Asian chicks. You have thought about joining the military at some point. You have unironically used the term “alpha” to describe yourself. Lucario: 75% chance you’re a furry. 20% chance you were a Mewtwo main in Melee and had to make do with Lucario in Brawl. 5% chance you’re really holding out for Goku to be in Smash, and play Lucario because he plays closest to how you imagine Goku would play. Ridley: You are an incredible piece of shit. Now that Ridley is in Smash, the new top characters on your wishlist are Master Hand and Master Chief. You don’t care about balance or thematic consistency, winning or losing, you are simply here to disrupt. You quit the game whenever you’re about to lose. Mr. Game and Watch: Shut the fuck up. You don’t main Mr. Game and Watch. Nobody mains Mr. Game and Watch. You spam B and then do side B whenever somebody gets too close. You first learned about the Game and Watch from Melee just like the rest of us. You’re not special. You’re NOTHING. Pit: You mained him in Brawl back when he was OP, and since he’s been nerfed, all you do is sit in the corner, spamming projectiles and the occasional side B when somebody gets too close. If the match has more than two players, you will guaranteed be the first to die. Wario: The most graceful winner on the list, which is faint praise, because they’re among the saddest in real life. They know they’re pathetic though, and that’s why they don’t get angry about losing. Will either kill themselves one day or die of a heart attack by age 50. Lucas: Even moreso than Ness mains, lies about playing the Mother games. Will do nothing but PK Freeze and PK Thunder. Will never, ever win, and will only ever cost you a victory. If they do manage to win, you’ve either found the top 1% of Smash players, or you’ve started the apocalypse. Ice Climbers: Like Duck Hunt mains, except you aren’t trying to troll anyone intentionally. You will forget how annoying your specials can be right up until after you’ve hit someone with them. Nobody is happy when you win, and you are definitely the least happy out of everyone. You just want everyone to get along. Don’t be such a damn pussy, pussy, you a damn pussy. Villager: You suck ass, but you’re the only one who doesn’t know it. You think Villager is better than he actually is, and you overemphasize how creepy he looks. You are the kind of person who thinks button mashing is a strategy, and that having having no strategy counts as “mind games.” You like creepypastas way too much. Mega Man: You are the least likely person on the list to have had sex, which is good because there’s a 50% chance you’re into little boys. You are also the person on the list who has played an NES game most recently. You complain about the number of characters with swords in the game, but it’s secretly because any decent player who mains one can beat you easily. Will sing along to the theme music whenever on the Wily’s Castle stage. Samus: You are the only one on the list who actively wants all items on. You alternate between spamming your charge shot, and spamming your grab. If you’re good, you will always get first. If not, you will always die first and bitch about it. Nobody knows who invited you over, but everyone secretly wishes you weren’t here. Dark Samus: You mained Samus and always picked her dark suit skin before Ultimate. Not even you asked for this character to be in Smash, and even you couldn’t really explain how they’re different from Dark Samus. When you tell someone you play Smash and they ask who your main is, you forget Dark Samus exists for a minute before telling them. Yoshi: There’s a 50% chance you are an actual child. If you’re not a child, then you either only play Smash for fun, or you are the best player on the list. Either way, it makes you among the saddest people on the list. You’re a good sport for the entire game, right up until you win by spitting them out as an egg right on the edge of the map. Wii Fit Trainer: You’re not actually good at Smash, you’re just good at improvising. You’re playing the game on the fly and just so happen to be lucking out every time you use the volley ball. There is a bone in your brain that compels you to yell “SALUTE THE SUN!” at least once per game. You definitely want to fuck the Wii Fit Trainer. Luigi: You are a down-to-earth, lovable loser who thinks Mario is too normal or obvious a choice. You legitimately find Luigi’s moves and animations to be funny and probably still laugh at Adam Sandler movies. Whenever you win a game, you take forever to press start just because you want to watch his victory pose for as long as possible. If you ever win with the kick taunt, then everybody you know literally hates you. Sheik: You are on both the LGBT and autism spectrums. You also have a Tumblr account. You met all of your friends online and have never talked to them in real life. You are unable to talk and play at the same time. You are probably really good at the game, but are still a sore loser, and will likely be the first to rage quit. Dr. Mario: You are a hipster that only picked Dr. Mario becomes nobody mains him. You pretend like you’ve always mained him, even though you used to main Link, and thought “why the fuck is Dr. Mario a character” when you saw him in Melee, just like the rest of us. You think it’s really cool that his side smash has lightning coming out of his hand but will never admit it. Richter: You embody all the negative traits of a Simon main, except you’re half as old and not OPENLY racist. Instead, you’re just really into metal and think you’re way more badass than you actually are. You own a Punisher t-shirt and have taken a picture of yourself posing with an assault rifle. You have the smallest dick out of everyone on the list. Diddy Kong: Your play style is the strategic equivalent of an infant slapping at a control. You will use the same move over an over again until it stops being effective, at which point you simply move onto a new one. You are the worst person to lose to. You will wake up one day realizing everybody hates you and not know why. This. This is why. Cloud: You only picked Cloud because you were excited to see him get added to Smash. You also will freely admit that fact with no shame whatsoever. You are the Chrom main’s only other friend besides the Robin main. You both bond over your love of anime boys and desire for Sora to be playable in Smash. You are easily the gayest player on the list. Mii Fighters: Either you’re playing as your actual Mii, in which case you have the lowest functioning level of autism on the list and are taking the game seriously, or you’re playing as a joke Mii, in which case you are guaranteed to have a fun time. It doesn’t matter either way, because you’ve never won a single game of Smash in your entire life. Roy: You’re like the Marth main, except you were also the kind of kid who had serious anger issues and screamed swear words at people in class when you were mad. You picked Roy over Marth because his special moves had fire. If Snake were playable in Melee, you would’ve picked him as your main. Olimar: You are the only person on the list who has ever played one of the Pikmin games all the way through. You are an eldritch abomination whose schemes and machinations are unknowable by man. You are the only one boring enough to pay attention to damage types. The ultimate irony of your playstyle is that you will die alone. Greninja: You are also 10. Your best friend is the Incineroar main, at least for now. If you don’t currently watch Naruto, you’re going to get way too into it very soon. You will make excuses and get salty every time you get hit, but you will brag and act like you’re the ultimate chessmaster every time you land a hit. You insist on playing with Final Smashes and no other items. Dark Pit: You’re right in the middle of a venn diagram between Ike main and Greninja main. You’re 13 years old. Everything you do and think is cool right now, you will look back on with embarrassment when in 5 years time. Unless you have actual autism, in which case you’ll never have a moment of self-realization. Instead, you’ll make really bad fan art of your favorite video game and cartoon characters. Ignorance is bliss. Toon Link: You are only the tiniest bit better than the Link main, and yet inexplicably aren’t nearly as hated as them. Lying comes as easily to you as breathing, and you do so without any semblance of guilt. You have a career in politics, Palutena: You pick your main in every game based on waifu status, and your playstyle is finding one combo you like and spamming it repeatedly. You play Skyrim with a mod that lets you play as a big-titted anime lady. You say you prefer subtitled anime to English dubs, but you actually don’t. Your taste in music is shit. Ryu: You’re insecure about playing a kid’s game and refuse to play as any characters that are cartoony, female, or a prettyboy. You won’t ever actually buy a Switch, because Nintendo is for babies, but you’ll still play it with your bros, because you’re the guy who calls people “bro.” You’re only playing as Ryu until they put in Goku or Master Chief. Ken: You’re confused about your sexuality and compensate for it by making overtly sexual statements and calling them jokes. You probably shit talk the most out of everyone else playing. You go to the gym just so you can talk about going to the gym. Bowser Jr. You’re one of the biggest Nintendo fanboys on the list, and got really excited when you saw that all of the other skins for Bowser Jr. were the Koopalings. You pretend like you know all of their names, but there’s always 1 or 2 that you keep forgetting. You can see what they look like in your mind but you can’t remember their name. You know they were all named after different musicians, but that doesn’t help you remember their names, because you know even less about the musicians than you do the characters, because the only thing you’re really knowledgeable about is pointless minutia about video games, and even now you’re proving how little impact that knowledge has on your life. If Nintendo did an NES Classic type deal for the N64 or the Gamecube, you would pay thousands of dollars for them, even though you’ve already got both consoles. Isabelle: You’re a mom that doesn’t actually play video games, you’re just doing this because your kid wanted somebody to play with. You picked the dog because she was cute. You’re either accidentally too good at the game, kick your kid’s ass, and make them cry, or you suck so hard that you’re actually less fun to fight against than the CPU. In 3 years, your kid will have moved on to FPS’ and you’ll look back on Smash with a mix of nostalgia and sadness, because your kid doesn’t want to play with you any more. You read James Patterson books, love win, and masturbate in the shower. Rosalina & Luma: You play the piano, harvest bull semen, or do something else outside of video games that requires two hands. You’re also big into RTS games. Something about controlling legions of forces, sending hundreds to their deaths, having so much power at your disposal awakens something deep inside of you. Even you leave off the “& Luma” part when talking about the character. Young Link: You are the token girl of a group of guys. Every single one of them wants to fuck you because you’re an average-looking girl who likes video games. You will be oblivious to all of it, and date some guy outside of your friend group. Half of them will start to resent you. All of them will be waiting for the opportunity to catch you at a vulnerable moment and have a one night stand with you. It will inevitably happen. It will be with the least shit guy of the group (which isn’t saying much) and ruin most of your interpersonal relationships. You also spend way too much money at conventions. Ganondorf: You are also the token girl of a group of guys, but you’re also a fat, butch lesbian. You try way too hard to be one of the guys, chug beers even though everybody else is drinking like normal, and you very blatantly burp and fart. You will continue to act like this into your 40s at which point your hair will be gray and permanently styled in a faux hawk. Despite all this, you will have the hottest wife out of everyone on this list. Zero Suit Samus: You picked her so you could play as her two-piece skin and masturbate with the screen paused, didn’t you? King K. Rool: You were the kind of kid who ate paste and would always demand first choice of characters because it was your birthday. You use the most OP options in any game but will say that something is unfair when it beats you. The only reason we’re letting you play with us is because mom says have to, and you’ll tell on us if we don’t. Shulk: You have an annoying voice. You don’t eat gluten, even though you don’t have any food allergies. You think all FPS games are stupid except for Overwatch. You use Tumblr slang in real life and have to ship every fictional character you come across. You’ve cried more recently than anyone else on the list, and you literally can’t even right now. Falco: You’re like a Fox main with less autism. In some ways, however, you are much worse than them. When you aren’t using Falco’s blaster to make enemies flinch, you’re telling women to kill themselves on the Internet. You are the guy who goes to the bar to go after women with low self-esteem. You definitely yell the N word during heated gaming moments. Pac-Man: You are the antithesis of the Mario main, and the type of person who always want to have new “experiences.” You will date a teenager and defend it to your friends by saying “age is just a number.” You also cheat on your partners and then act like you were the victim because you were “suffocating” by being expected to be monogamous. Your favorite food is some weird kind of pizza or burger that’s named after an Arcade Fire song and only available at a local restaurant whose name is a pun. Piranha Plant: Some men aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn. Joker: You decided you would main this character before you ever played them because you love JRPGs so much. You say “u mad bro?” to annoy people even though you have the worst anger management of anyone on the list. You unironically liked the game “Hatred” and will switch to Doomguy if he gets put in Smash. Random: You’re pretty cool.
2020.09.18 23:42 tate_declan0419Problematic Representation of the LGBTQ+ Community
As everyone knows, this series features a lot of LGBTQ+ characters, and while this was a step in the right direction, the way this show portrays the vast majority of it's subject matter is fairly problematic. Several of these things have already been discussed in this subreddit, but I'd like to talk about the highly problematic representation of this community. Coming from someone who is a part of the community, this is not a good depiction by a long shot in my opinion. While the majority of the characters are far from innocent, the show seems to have a problem with the morality of non-straight characters. Time and time again media, gay characters are either villainous or are a walking stereotype. Take JK Rowling's new book for example- it features a crossdresser who murders people. 13 Reasons Why, although not homophobic, does the same thing that the majority of the media does. From the very beginning of the show, Ryan was just a walking stereotype. One of the other characters on the show even made the comment "he's the worst kind of gay". Courtney is turned into a bitchy character as well who is portrayed as somewhat villainous because she tried to hide her sexuality. That's not to say that spreading the rumor about Hannah wasn't wrong, of course she should've never done that, but she isn't bad because she tried to hide her sexuality. Alex was another example of a walking stereotype. When he came out in the season four, the comments sections of Instagram posts and YouTube videos were flooded with people saying "I could tell by the way he talked" or "I knew because of the way he dressed, his hair, his nose ring etc". Additionally, they chose to make him a murder and then come out. Aside from that, the entire gay story line was extremely rushed and came out (no pun intended) of nowhere. It was almost as if they had thrown that in there as something to gain sympathy points for, which is ridiculous. Tony is arguably one of the least problematic characters on the show. I feel like it says a lot that the show's most unproblematic character helped cover up crimes and dated a man in his 20's who he also got into a physical fight with. Charlie was one of the better (and that's like being the tallest dwarf in this case) examples of representation, but he fell in love with a murderer and helped cover up the crime. Winston is constantly viewed as someone who falls in love too easily, but I feel like this was partially due to the absolute shit writing for his character. Plus, he was set up to be the villain of season four. The entire point of his character was to try to clear Monty's name from Bryce's murder but they turned him into the guy who fell in love with a murder and stopped trying to clear his unofficial-boyfriend's name because he felt bad for the murder. That brings us to Monty, who I would say is the most irritating example of poor representation I've ever seen in media. The fact that they made him a rapist after very obviously hinting at him being gay is so disgusting. He was the only character on the show with homophobic parents. While there have certainly been improvements of the treatment of the LGBTQ+ community in the world, it's far from perfect. The truth is, not everyone can just come out to their parents. Not everyone is free to be themselves at school. Some people get forced into conversation therapy, get beat by their parents, are thrown out- the list goes on and on. It's not always pretty like it was for all the other characters on the show. Monty could've served as the positive representation for what it's like to have grown up in an abusive household with homophobic parents and internalized homophobia. Sadly, they chose to throw that all away. Had he not been a criminal, he had the potential to be a positive example for teens that don't have supportive parents. He played football, was popular, struggled with his mental health- he wasn't just a stereotype like Ryan, for example. It's irritating that they chose to throw that all away for nothing. Oh, and let's not forget that he was killed directly after he came out to his father. Talk about bury your gays. Last but not least, I want to address the Justin situation. Justin is not gay, however, he was raped by men and it's implied that he contracted AIDS from this. Aside from the fact that it was an extremely inaccurate portrayal of AIDS, it literally feeds into the whole "gays have AIDS" movement from back in the 80's. Who thought it was a good idea to have a character get raped by men, contract AIDS, and then die of it? I understand that things like that do happen, but come on. As someone who was told their brother might die of AIDS because he was gay, I found that whole story line to be very insensitive and borderline offensive. In conclusion, the show has a wide variety of problematic representation. Really, the only good thing they did was put more than one LGBTQ+ character on the show. Other than that, all the characters were problematic in one way or another. Now, that's not to say that members of the LGBTQ+ community can't be problematic, but all of the characters on 13RW are and they seem to pride themselves on that representation. In all honesty, I'd say HBO's Euphoria does a much better job of portraying mature subject matter, "starting the conversation", and representing the LGBTQ+ community. This is all just my opinion. Some of you might disagree, and that's fine, but it just seems very messy to me. This also isn't to say that you shouldn't like these characters or the show. I like the characters and the show too, but I'm just pointing out some of the flaws.
2020.09.18 22:14 Rachel50CDI am a crossdresser love feeling and being femme, I date men from online or one nighters, I don't take Hormone pills at least not yet my question is, is ok to identify as female or transgender
So I know i'm new to this thread so I will start off by saying that I am 20 and my aunt is 35. WE have been "dating" for the past two years and haven't done anything crazy sexual besides BJ's, TJ's, etc. She is five foot six and I am five foot ten almost eleven. For details I am lean but still a little muscly with brown hair, brown eyes, slightly tanned skin, and I like to crossdress sometimes. My aunt has a large rack that she has told me on numerous that they are E cups and she says they are "All natural, babycakes" . She is darker toned than me and she has blonde hair, emerald green eyes, and is completely shaven everywhere. I've taken her on number of dates and to the unknowing eye we could be mistaken as a couple. I live with my dad because of covid and she has also moved in with us but because of my dad's busy stay at home job we can't spend time alone together. He does go out every once in a while and so that's nice but even then we mostly just cuddle. The nice thing is that our rooms are right next to each other with a full bath connecting them so we do get some fun bath time stuff and she can easily sleep with me that way. My family has no idea about us except for my grandma because she caught my aunt giving me a blowjob while I was asleep. My aunt teased me for years with embarrassing situations where i'd get a boner in front of her or she'd talk about sexual stuff with me and she always had this "Ara Ara" feeling to her any time I was around her. I later found out that for about three years she would give me a blowjob when I was sleeping anytime I went to visit her before we started our relationship. I think that's enough for now and If you have any questions ask away!
2020.09.16 05:33 Madameblue0320My (24F) fiance (25M) told me he is bisexual and possibly trans. I'm struggling
We talked today and he mentioned those things. We've been dating for 4+ years and he brought this up. He seemed unsure about his feelings so I suggested maybe seeing a therapist because they'll listen to him without judgment and help him sort out his feelings. I'm partially worried since if he decides to transition, I want what will make him happy but I'm just not attracted to women. He says he'd rather take "staying the same and being with me" instead of "transitioning but us breaking up". It's really tearing me apart, I don't want to hurt him but I don't think I could be in that sort of relationship. He said he'd be okay with maybe just crossdressing around the house and stuff like that, but I'm worried if he comes to resent me for it. Any advice?
Hey im britney im 19, a crossdresser, maybe transgender im still unsure, currently bi curious but more straight. Like i dont think id ever date a guy but i have masturbated to the thought of giving a bj, so i dunno. Dunno if im allowed to mention it or not but got a load of photos on my insta if your intrested in having a look. Thank you for your time.
2020.09.13 18:54 NecessaryShevilShould I abort my transition now?
I'm MTF, 29 years old, been on hormones for 13 months now. I feel like my life post-HRT is so much more bleak and unhappy compared to my pre-HRT life. I do my best to try and become a normal, everyday, functioning woman. I do voice training, I wear normal business casual clothes, my hair is neat, long and past my shoulders. I have wonderful trans friends who I see or speak to every fay, an SO. But I'm afraid to go outside. I hate my face and feel like there's no chance of me ever passing. Can't stand to look at myself in the mirror or in photos. I get gendered correctly most of the time, but I still feel like a freak. I'm 6ft 2 inches tall. I can't find a job anymore, whereas pre-transition I was always employed in the sector of my choice. However, it's looking increasingly likely that I'll have to give up on my dream career of being a social worker. Absolutely no employer wants to hire a trans person, especially not a non-passing one. I feel utterly lost, career wise. I don't feel like I have any other marketable skills, and there's nothing else I'd really like to do anyway. Except maybe some random office job or something? Not exactly my dream. My dysphoria post-transition is without a doubt MUCH worse than it ever was, pre-transition. All the negative feelings I used to have while living as a man, are absolutely still there but 10 times worse... and they are emotionally wrecking me. I'm depressed. I'm always worrying, often crying, it all just looks so bleak and destructive. It wouldn't be a lie to say that transitioning has had overwhelmingly negative effects on my emotional life so far. I went from being a man with goals, ambitions and dreams, to a sad crossdresser whose only coping mechanism revolves around being emotionally dependent on both my SO and having hookups to get the pain fucked out of me. I think about suicide almost daily, whereas I never (or exceedingly rarely) ever thought about that, back when I lived as my birth gender. I feel like a failed person, a freak, some kind of monster. The only thing that gives me some joy is, well... The sex, I guess. Which is the only thing that has resoundingly improved since starting hormones. As a guy, I was scared of relationships and could't have sex at all. It made me feel awkward and broken. As a woman, everything comes much more natural. And my sexuality has changed, I can actually fall in love with guys now, whereas before I couldn't mentally cope with dating either gender, no matter how much I experimented. I'm supposed to have FFS in the next year, for which I have exactly enough money saved. But after I pay for the FFS, all my life savings will be gone. It'll have a financial ripple effect that will set me back for the rest of my life. But what if I have the surgery, and I'm STILL depressed? Right now, my life has become unlivable. I'm afraid I'm going to wind up killing myself soon. My SO is all that's holding me back. And don't bother telling me to get help, because I already went and GOT enough help. I've seen 4 different psychologists over the previous 2 years and right now I'm seeing my therapist on a weekly basis. It's NOT enough!! They don't know the answer either, despitr their trans-specific training. I'm desperate for something, anyone, anything to save me. Or someone who tells me how I can save myself. Help, please help me. Show me what I can try to get out of this.
Hello all! Weekly we will be spotlighting one of our amazing queens! Queens with less than 100k Instagram followers have been put into an order randomizer. This is a positive-only space, negative comments will be removed and may result in a ban. We encourage you to celebrate the weekly queen right here on rupaulsdragrace and highlight their accomplishments & stunning looks.
This week our queen is inspirational activist, Honey Mahogany
https://preview.redd.it/51qm84fdprl51.png?width=583&format=png&auto=webp&s=5bf4fb5226b00ecab531fec300b1c0ce3982eb78 Honey Mahogany is the first trans/gender non-conforming individual of colour ever elected in San Fransico and the State of California. She is the co-founder of Compton'sTransgender district, the world's first officially recognized transgender neighbourhood. It was named after the first documented uprising of transgender and queer individuals in US history, the Compton's Cafeteria Riots of 1966. The riots sparked when queens and trans individuals were being hauled away by the San Francisco Police Department (as the city had an anti-crossdressing policy) of and one individual poured her steaming cup of coffee in the officer's face. Drag queens, transgender individuals, and to a degree, LGB community of San Fran's Tenderloin district had been targeted, harassed and abused by the San Francisco Police Department over a number of decades. Following the riot, many community spaces and businesses banned trans women and drag queens. Resulting in this area which although hostile, became the gay mecca of San Francisco. Alongside two other black transwomen, Honey Mahogany has founded The Transgender District. The aim of this district is to create an urban environment that fosters the rich history, culture, legacy and empowerment of transgender people. This area has the goal of stabilizing and economically empowering the transgender community through ownership of homes, businesses, historic and cultural sites and safe community spaces. To learn more about this district, please visit their website. Honey is also the co-owner of San Fran's oldest queer bar and an active politician in the San Fran Democratic party. Honey fights for affordable housing, small businesses, protecting the environment and making sure everyone, particularly LGBTQ and people of colour have a voice and a place in the Democratic party. https://preview.redd.it/6j58vu0esrm51.png?width=292&format=png&auto=webp&s=1d6ce90f18cd5418de0065dfcbf099f41a154acc What do you love about Honey?
Has her work touched you or someone you know?
What's your favourite/most iconic moment with her?
Favourite lip sync?
Feel free to share M&G or show photos of her [please include date/location]
2020.09.13 05:55 Able-Presentation234Theory: Ruth stole the Hand of Omega. Spoilers for Series 12.
Basically this is a theory which attempts to explain how the Ruth Doctor's TARDIS can be disguised as a police telephone box, but goes a little power mad along the way and attempts to connect some serious dots. TLDR; The Ruth Doctor stole the Hand of Omega from Gallifrey, not the First Doctor. She hid it in London 1963, where her TARDIS became stuck in the shape of a police telephone box then later the First Doctor tracked the Hand of Omega there, where his TARDIS became restuck in the shape of a police telephone box. So first of everyone, most people seem to agree that the Ruth Doctor must be the original owner of the Doctor's TARDIS. We can use the TARDIS' claim in The Doctor's Wife, to argue that she recognised the Doctor and allowed herself to be stolen. We can consider the business with Clara and the First Doctor in The Name of the Doctor to be the result of the Great Intelligence altering history in that story. This last point is not entirely satisfactory but is the lesser conclusion of two evils. In Logopolis then, I believe, it's stated that the TARDIS' chameleon circuit was being repaired when the First Doctor stole it. Note that in Meanwhile in the TARDIS Scene 1 the Doctor indicates that technically the chameleon circuit still works, the actual fault is that it keeps deciding a police box is the perfect way to blend in to every destination. If this was also the original fault with the Ruth Doctor's TARDIS then it seems reasonable that after the unfinished repair work done on Gallifrey, this fault would be retriggered by the First Doctor's TARDIS arriving in London 1963, where a police box really would be the perfect way to blend in. The only thing left to explain is the coincidence of the Doctor arriving in London c.1963 twice, once as the Ruth Doctor and the second time in An Unearthly Child. The theory then is that the Ruth Doctor was hiding the Hand of Omega when she first visited London 1963, and that the First Doctor returned to this location later tracking the Hand of Omega's signal. To flesh out this theory, consider Gat's gun in Fugitive of the Judoon. The Ruth Doctor stole Gat's gun and programmed it to backfire against whoever tried to use it, as a safety precaution should Gat find her. We can then speculate that the Ruth Doctor similarly stole the Hand of Omega, incase the Division came looking for her, and hid it in London 1963, hiding it just well enough that only another Time Lord could find it. The Hand of Omega was then programmed to backfire against whoever tried to use it in the hope that this would destroy the Division, but instead ended up destroying the Daleks as seen in Remembrance of the Daleks. When the First Doctor found it, he worried about other renegade Time Lords (such as the Master) potentially finding this device and so he arranged to have it properly hidden in an unmarked grave since carrying the device with him in the TARDIS provided too high a risk of being tracked by the Time Lords. Furthermore we can speculate that the Nemesis statue was similarly stolen by the Ruth Doctor, remembering Lady Peinforte's claim that the statue had told her a secret about the Doctor dating back to the dawn of Time Lord society which we now know can only refer to the Timeless Child, connecting up with the idea that the Nemesis statue had met the Ruth Doctor. This seems to satisfactorily explain how Ruth's Doctor can have a TARDIS disguised as a police telephone. There are maybe a few questions left.
Why did the Ruth Doctor's TARDIS's chameleon circuit break in the first place, given that it would have been new at the time (as stated in the script)? One possible explanation is that the Doctor herself and the TARDIS both survived an accident at the time they left Gallifrey. This is implied when Gat states that the Time Lord had already held a funeral for the Doctor and believed her to be dead. Note also that none of the Judoon were able to recognise the Ruth Doctor on sight so we can infer she has regenerated since leaving. We can speculate then that the Ruth Doctor and the TARDIS survived an accident, she regenerated and the TARDIS' chameleon circuit was damaged amongst other circuitry like the navigation system. Immediately after this accident she escapes to Earth London, 1963 to leave a trap at the end of her trail, should any clever Time Lord realise how she survived, her TARDIS becomes stuck as a police telephone box and then she goes into hiding.
Why did she possess the Hand of Omega/Nemesis statue/Gat's gun at the time of this accident? Maybe this accident took place while fighting in the war against Morbius. Note her medal for distinguished service. It also seems fitting that the Time Lords going to war against Morbius for trying to break the Time Lord intervention policy would finally make the Timeless Child/Doctor question working for the Division.
Why do we not see the Ruth Doctor in The Name of the Docto in River's records / in The Eleventh Hour etc? I've seen others explain this. The scar tissue seen in that episode is said to the fraying wound in time caused by the damage to time by the Doctor's travels. Prior to the First Doctor running away, he had lived on Gallifrey for 236 years which we can assume is enough of a stable period of time to act as a buffer to prevent the tear in time from ripping any further, which is why Clara only sees as far back as the First Doctor leaving Gallfirey. (For EU fans, IDK how to explain the EDAs or Orbis, give it your best go. Also I guess its worth thinking about the 900 years on Trenzalore at the other end of this tear.) The others could be explained by suggesting that after Fugitive of the Judoon, the Ruth Doctor hid from the Time Lords in the post 10,000,000 AD period of history (funnily enough most of history is passed this point), stated in Frontios to be beyond the Time Lords limits and where the Master hid from the Time Lords during the Time War. This would leave little trace of her (eventually his) adventures in the time periods frequented by the Doctor in Classic and New Who. If we further assume that the Timeless Child did not take up the name Doctor until after she ran away then this appears to resolve this issue.
What about the First Doctor stealing the Hand of Omega in Lungbarrow/The Beginning (for EU fans)? For this theory I'm only building on TV series details but I'll have a go. The package is only implied to be the Hand of Omega in The Beginning (maybe it's just the Doctor's fancy hovering suitcase). Unfortunately I imagine it's probably name dropped in Time and Relative or Quinnis or one of the short trips in which case alternate timeline/the Doctor has a fancy hovering suitcase called the Hand of Omega which mustn't fall into the wrong hands or else everyone will know his crossdressing secret (remember the women's clothes reference from The Woman Who Fell to Earth) /s. Lungbarrow is already difficult to square with everything we learned in the Timeless Child, so I would assume it is very much set in a different timeline/universe or just a distorted retelling of the Timeless Child story. Also I guess The Gallifrey Chronicles and The Abandoned present some problems with different accounts for the original TARDIS owner. Different timelines or maybe the TARDIS had more than one previous owner. Maybe Marnal and Marianna are both past incarnations of the Doctor? /s.
2020.09.12 05:30 Chuu_ul25 [T4M] [M4M] Femboy who likes to crossdress♡︎
25 [T4M] [M4M] Femboy who likes to crossdress♡︎ I am currently in search of the “one” by that I mean I am looking for a FWB or BF. Of course you probably are wondering what I look like, look at my account. Umm I am looking for some who likes to workout, and is open minded. That includes going on walks to the park and dates etc. Send a picture to my kik Sexychuu♡︎
Hey, I hope somebody can help me. During Covid I wanted to sort myself out because during all my life I've had very low self confidence and I never felt truly happy with myself. I started to explore my feelings a bit, and gender dysphoria started to pop up. I was never really in tune with my gender I guess, but the GD really started to grow in these last months. I made a list of reasons why I could and couldn't be trans. I guess that only myself really can know, but just maybe it is clear for some of you that this is something else. I'm not here to offend anyone, so sorry in advance if it's triggering. Reasons I might be trans in random order:
When I do online tests I secretly hope the result is female so I kind of want to be trans I guess (this could also be bad though)
I feel I could express myself better. Emotionally I keep everything to myself because I feel I have to as male, and I feel I think more as a female.
Dating is for me a little different. I'm far more interested in a girl's life than I'm in my own life. It's kinda like jealousy, but a bit different. (I shield this very well though)
My perfect self is a girl weirdly. (Or do I see my dream girl?)
Feel disconnected with my body since puberty (body hair for example). I remember I wanted to stay in terms of body closer to one of a female. (I was pretty ignorant of how it all worked because my parents really shielded me from sex until into highschool)
When posing as girl ingame I feel excitement which I don't have being male (not arousal, something happy different)
In terms of transitioning I'm more scared about the practical side then emotionally.
Sometimes I have to act like I'm a male, but feeling like a man feels for me like nothing. It is not naturally.
It has been with me for a long time.
Reasons I might not be trans in random order:
Crippling depression/low self confidence. Maybe I force myself upon this because I scared of everything, like this is a way out?Forced upon myself because of wanting a reason for my low selfconfidence?
I have tried to discuss it with my parents, but they thought it was low selfconfidence and maybe an identity crisis. They never saw any signs and it was hard to imagine it all. They really love me and I'm sure they will support me, but I don't think they get it. Then again it is difficult to explain and some parts I rather leave out.
My grandparents maybe conditioned me to think that female is better? My grandmother for example is convinced that boys are more lazy and less good in studying for example. I can say I suffered from it, and things like blindly turning to me when my niece shot the ball in the neighbours garden used to make me really sad. I learned early what I was supposed to like and what not. (They really love me though, they are just conservative and always had daughters. They have done so much for me). Maybe something has been planted in my head that female is better? I did grow up in female dominated surroundings. What I do know that I firmly believe that males and females are equal. They both have it though for different reasons.
I'm not very girly. As a child I was gender conforming. I get discouraged/scared/full with doubt by overly female things like I shouldn't be associated with this. This is a great way to discourage myself of thinking I might be trans.
I also kinda not want to be trans. It will be hard and I don't know if i'm up for the task. I accept and find everyone worthy that is trans, but not myself weirdly. If I could try without consequences I maybe would be more motivated. (I also doubt I'm trans enough anyway and I'm scared for regret)
I function well enough as male. Feels a bit hollow but I manage well enough.
I do have a crossdressing fetisj as long as I can remember which I don't really act on. I fantasize about it mostly. I don't feel I will ever get to explore because it because the arousel will take over.
Puberty? Idealizing? TOCD maybe, like obsession? (I don't have a history with OCD)
Notes: I'm not gay, nothing wrong with that at all but it's just a sidenote to show I'm not confusing my feelings with something else. I'm hesitant on going to a therapist, because this is all very shameful. Also what if it's completely nothing and I embaress myself? Al least here I can do this anonymously. I'm already proud that I told my parents, because for years I thought I never would tell anybody. Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my mother language. And i'm new, so... Sorry for the long read. I really had to get this out of my head.
2020.09.10 00:44 stupidslut6969The surprising way that I beat this addiction and got back to my normal self
Like many of the people here, I struggled with an addiction to sissification porn. I'm sure you all know the beginning of the story well enough: A taste for kinky porn, femdom shit and eventually crossdressing got me deep into a sissy fetish that seemed impossible to break. I wont spend too much time detailing the obsessive cycle of being turned on, giving in, hating myself for it, low self esteem eventually bringing me back and pulling me deeper and deeper, etc. You all know about that stuff already I assume. I will mention just for the sake of thoroughness and because it seems relevant that I was sexually abused by a man when I was 13 and it left a submissive, self loathing imprint on me. I was never popular with girls but the ones I did hook up with I explored my sexuality fully with them and had multiple girls in my life who would encourage bicurious and submissive behavior in bed and validate those behaviors intensely. In addition to this, my first few times having sex with girls were awful. The first time it was painful and I couldn't finish, the second time was a one night stand with a really hot girl and I was too anxious/nervous/drunk/high to stay hard, and my next few times were with a girl way below my league in terms of looks who I had no personal attraction to. I was fully ready and primed for this shit by the time I found /sissyhypno in my freshman year of college. My use of marijuana amplified the effects of this content and by the end of my junior year I was at a breaking point. Having failed yet again to start a meaningful relationship with a girl I liked, I was again relapsing despite having an awesome new girl in my life who I loved talking to, was attracted to, and could see myself with and she felt the same way about me. I felt I could not allow this fetish any more rent free living in my head to continue ruining my chances of ever finding a real relationship or loving myself as a happy, confident man. It was while thinking about this and still obsessively browsing sissy porn with a butt plug in, panties on, etc. that I stumbled upon a video much like many others out there. I wont give too many details on it because I don't want to advertise it, like I don't really want anyone to watch it because it's nothing you haven't seen before or anything that will really help you break free of this cycle. It was essentially a POV femdom clip of a beautiful mistress commanding you to go out into the world and perform fellatio on a dick. Calling you a sissy, demanding that you suck a dick for her, that it will turn you into the cocksuckesissy you were always meant to be, blah blah blah shit youve heard a thousand times etc. But for some reason, this one really cut through the weed and porn induced fog and I realized just how easy it would be to try sucking a dick if I was really that curious about it. As I mentioned earlier, i was raped at 13 by a man so I had sucked a dick before I ever found sissy porn. But I had always convinced myself that that was a fucked up scenario and I didnt have a fair chance to enjoy it because it was so far from the ideal way to try it out. I had always wondered deep down if I would actually love it were I to try again. Things were getting more serious with this girl who I really liked a lot, so I felt I had to go do this before I got too serious with her as it wouldn't be fair to have these thoughts, desires, and insecurities that I would never feel confident talking to her about or having while we were together. If I liked it, then I could know for sure that I was bi/gay and truly liked dick, and work based on that information. But if I didn't, then I would know in real terms that it was porn and my own fetishization of fantasy at play and not my true orientation. So I downloaded grindr and within 3 hours I was meeting up with a transgender woman in my neighborhood. A crossdressing drag queen with dominant tendencies who knew of my bicuriosity and desire to explore crossdressing and feminization and gay sex in a safe environment. I chose a trans girl because I figured if I am gonna do this right, i might as well take the smallest, safest, straightest baby step into it possible. Sucking a girls dick is less gay than a guys dick, I needed to confront the reality of being a trans girl head on, etc. I went on a date with her, got to know her, got to see the work that she puts in to look feminine, oh and also before any of that I immediately sucked her cock and took a load of her cum to the face. I had her take pictures of me doing it, so I could look at them later and not repress what I was doing. I wanted to fully live out the fantasy and live with it to see how it sat in real life. And guess what: It wasn't the worst thing ever. It didn't make me push back too hard and decide cocks were gross or being trans is a mental illness or feel any shame. Because it also wasnt the best thing ever. I didn't feel anything towards the experience one way or the other. It was meaningless dick sucking and exploration of what it meant to be trans. I didn't force myself into any opinion on it. And at the end of all of it, I realized a few things. Firstly, that I don't have what it takes to be trans. Voice training, makeup, girls clothes and outfit planning, living with a trans identity and the life changes that it would bring. None of it seemed appealing to me anymore because in the context of meeting new people or facing new experiences, I feel male. I feel comfortable wearing my own boy clothes, I feel comfortable with no makeup and with a deep male voice and facial hair and a male body and everything. I don't really feel any desire to go through all the work that real trans people do every day to be seen as their true selves. If that was my true self as well, I think I would leap at the opportunity to do all of that. Second thing I realized is that I have no particular love for sucking dick. It didnt make me feel like a sissy or that my masculinity was being purged or that it was my one true mission in life. What I felt was that there was an erect human penis in my mouth and I was doing my best to make it cum because I felt obligated to. but the emotion, the arousal, and the purpose that I feel from giving women head was absent because I was acting out a role, but not my own true desires. I couldnt lie to myself about how amazing it is to suck cock when I was doing it and didnt enjoy it. The third thing I realized is that during this entire experience I would be far happier, more aroused, more in love, more confident and everything, if I was the one in charge. My attraction to sexual submission disappeared because while I was sucking her dick and getting a cum facial, I kept thinking wow Im honestly bored like I wish I could be doing whatever I want to right now. I like being in charge in bed generally, which is not something I thought i enjoyed. I like deciding when to kiss or when to touch and where or what my partner does or what I will do. I prefer it by a mile. With these realizations, the chains of my sissification fetish totally evaporated and I felt free for the first time in years. The one thought I kept having was "I won. I finally won. I won and this shit cant touch me or hurt me ever again." Confronting my obsession head on(no pun intended) was the one thing that could break it. Within weeks, I was officially dating my now girlfriend. Sex with her is the easiest, hottest thing in the world and Ive never had any issues with her. I can discuss what I wanna do with her openly and feel totally comfortable and turned on by vanilla straight male dominated sex. I dont think about sissy stuff on a daily basis anymore, it doesnt haunt me, and it cant hurt me. TLDR: I broke my addiction to sissy porn by sucking a real life dick and realizing I actually love being a straight dude and have no problem doing it forever.
2020.09.09 23:34 AliceInBondageLandCrossdressing Club Meets ONLINE Wed Sept 16th
Monthly Crossdressing Club Wed Sept 16th (Zoom) Wednesday Sept 16, 2020 from 7-10pm via Zoom RSVP: https://fetlife.com/events/886022 Keep the club SUSTAINABLE for another 8 years and stay up to date by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/aliceinbondageland Our group met at Wicked Grounds before the pandemic but now we are ONLINE! Get your webcam or smartphone ready if you want to show off your stay-at-home look! YES THERE WILL BE A PASSWORD. Details will be sent privately to RSVPs and will be posted on our club's Patreon an hour before the event, to reduce our likelihood of being trolled. Please no nudity in the main video chat but do DRESS UP. We will go around the room to introduce ourselves, share photos, play some ice breaker games and enjoy conversations. Please remember to practice good webcam etiquette like muting yourself when not talking, etc. This is a good opportunity to see old friends and meet new ones as we are liberated from the need to be geographically focused on the San Francisco Bay Area! We welcome members from all over the world. We know that crossdressers exist on every continent, including Antarctica. Wicked Grounds has announced their temporary closure for community health concerns and I think it is important that we also support them during these difficult times. The best way to support WG is through their Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/wickedgrounds
2020.09.09 22:33 AliceInBondageLandSissy Night Meets ONLINE Wed Sept 16th Crossdressing Club
Monthly Crossdressing Club Meeting Wednesday Sept 16, 2020 from 7-10pm via the Zoom App. RSVP: https://fetlife.com/events/886022 Keep the club SUSTAINABLE for another 8 years and stay up to date by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/aliceinbondageland Our group met at Wicked Grounds before the pandemic but now we are ONLINE! Get your webcam or smartphone ready if you want to show off your stay-at-home look! YES THERE WILL BE A PASSWORD. Details will be sent privately to RSVPs and will be posted on our club's Patreon an hour before the event, to reduce our likelihood of being trolled. Please no nudity in the main video chat but do DRESS UP. We will go around the room to introduce ourselves, share photos, play some ice breaker games and enjoy conversations. Please remember to practice good webcam etiquette like muting yourself when not talking, etc. This is a good opportunity to see old friends and meet new ones as we are liberated from the need to be geographically focused on the San Francisco Bay Area! We welcome members from all over the world. We know that crossdressers exist on every continent, including Antarctica. Wicked Grounds has announced their temporary closure for community health concerns and I think it is important that we also support them during these difficult times. The best way to support WG is through their Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/wickedgrounds
2020.09.09 11:04 MixM23I know i'm fucking myself over, but I just can't do anything about it. help.
To preface this, I know many of you prefer not to see negative things here, so i'm sorry about that. In addition, i'm going to be stating many of the negative things i'm feeling; so take this with a grain of salt. This is also going to be pretty rant-y, in almost chronological order, and detail almost all of my experiences in 3 parts, so bear with me. --- -==Part 1: 2019==- Near the start of last year, I started questioning my sexuality and then afterwards; when I thought I had settled all of that, an additional layer of questioning arrived in the back of my head. During this time my grades and self-esteem were dropping quickly. Where before I was a straight A student, now I was Ds, and Cs. Throughout that year, I told nobody anything and kept everything to myself, going through the repetitive days one stumbly foot after the other, the questions of who I was slowly growing throughout the year. I continued to question myself until I stumbled onto an article about the experiences of a transgender woman. While at the time I was very much the type of person to make the attack helicopter joke, something clicked for me when reading that article despite the fact that I did not relate to all the experiences. Afterwards I went through multiple of the "what is my gender?", "do I have gender dysphoria?" or "am I trans?" quizzes to come to the conclusion that I might be transgender; despite getting multiple yes answers, wanting to wake up a girl, and that I ended up fully crossdressing in private, and under my "boy clothes" in public. While this did open the door for me to figure out who I am, my relations with school and myself kept going down. Because I had not told anyone anything, and because all of my grades started dropping visibly at the onset of when most high-schools went online; both of my parents, who had went through a peaceful divorce 3ish years prior, assumed that it was because of online school. Especially, because they were dropping due to missed work, rather than poor work. Additionally, at this time the relationship I had with my father was slowly dwindling, so I tended to spend a greater amount of my time with my mother, who was dating someone that lived across the country to me (her job made it so that she was half here, half there). As the year went on, my mother decided that she would move to be with her now fiance, across the country. Knowing that my relationship with her was better by a small amount, that the place she was moving to had greater support for LGBTQ people, and that I had a chance to reinvent myself, I decided to go as well. -==Part 2: 2020==- As the date for the move grew closer, the questioning I had for myself went into overdrive and I eventually decided that I was most likely either MtNB or MtF, a feeling I keep to this day (just leaning highly to MtF). A week before I was to fly I came out to my mother, and her fiance. Due to moving shenanigans, they were already cross-country so I ended up having multiple long phone calls with my mother, who was very supportive, but hesitant, a feeling she keeps to this day. Eventually, the date rolled around and I flew across the country. For the most part, everything remained the same. I managed to pull together enough motivation to bring my grades back to a "good" level in the last weeks of that school-year, but when it came to moving things along in relations to myself transitioning, everything remained at a stand still. If I wanted to talk about it I needed to initiate and if I wanted to do something I needed to be the one to bring up the idea, but I simply couldn't. I barely had the will to come out through text, let alone talk about the way I feel, I knew I wanted to find a good therapist, but couldn't talk about it. I even lied to keep my own feelings a secret, when it would have been easier to just talk. Eventually I did though, It only took me the entirety of summer vacation and coming out to my father (who came to visit). Afterwards my mother started a long grind to find a good therapist, even though she was extraordinarily stressed at the time, and dealing with a lost job (thank you!). In the meantime, my overall motivation to do really anything massively plummeted more it had already, except for when I bury myself into D&D and videogames. Most of the time I stayed in my room, sleeping, playing, thinking of "what if?" scenarios, or loosing myself into my own abyss. While this affected the majority of my relationships mildly, it really went downhill when the next year of school started. At the start of it, I was doing good. My mother had finally found a good therapist who I had started talking to a bit and the solid pre-planned structure of this school year, along with me picking easier classes, helped me stay motivated compared to the aimless thrown-together nature of the previous year. I felt as if I was actually going somewhere and that I was pulling all of my shit back into place, this time not alone. It didn't last whatsoever. By the end of the second week I was back to where I was at the end of the previous year, I could barely get myself to pay attention, do the "inclass" work, or do the homework. The work I would have to make up slowly built up and all that I thought about my gender, all that I thought I had figured out at least a little bit; along with my high want for HRT, vanished or got horribly scrambled in my brain. To compound this, due to my limited communication with the people I had come out to, my mother believed that the current best option would be to get on hormone blockers because "I needed more time to figure it all out without the pressures of ageing/puberty". Because of how I was feeling, I went along with it as husk of a person. We got a consultation from an informed-consent clinic for hormone blockers, but it was canceled do to scheduling errors and the replacement consultation went nowhere due to my shitty communication skills of how I feel, excluding orders for blood work. However, eventually due to help of my amazing therapist, I pulled myself back to how I was feeling beforehand, and recognised I am transgender. While the doubt was certainly still there some days, and my school life did not improve, I managed to pull the confidence to tell my mother that when I do anything, when I transition, my first step will be HRT, as im sick of waiting. While I thought that this would help lift a good deal of pressure of my frustratingly flat chest, in the end it only made it worse for me, as I learned that my mothers hesitation to doing anything was in reality, her being completely mortified if I had later regretted transitioning down the line. This should have been far more apparent to me earlier; because a couple of months prior she used one of her laptops I was logged into to rummage through my accounts to see if someone was influencing me, probably because she was that scared. In addition she said that if I wanted to start HRT, I would need to come out to my brother and my step-sisters, which I was and am completely not ready for. -==Part 3: The here and now==- After that conversation, which was a couple weeks ago, my mother and I went clothes shopping (yay!), but I feel as if everything has still come to a head. While i'm confident that I am transgender, my doubts have gone up exponentially, and my motivation to do anything has gone down an equal amount; to the point where if I do get myself to get into the shower, I can almost never get myself to do something as basic as washing my hair or shaving my legs. The amount of school assignments missing has gone up, and If I do pull myself awake and into the more public areas of the house the only things hear from my mother anymore are "why is X and X missing?", "Do X by TIME or there will be Y", or "What's your plan for completing all your missing assignments?". Or the rare time where we get into an argument (screaming match), and I get to hear about how she is also dealing with things but manages to clean the entire house, do work and a million other things. The problem is that despite how much I know that I need to do them, that there will be consequences if I don't, or how it will affect me in the long term, I just can't. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me, but I simply can't. Every conversation I have relating to it, or my mental state makes me feel like shit, like i'm forcing everyone else to make their lives exponentially harder to make mine questionably better. Im so fucking sick of it, i'm sick of not being able to cry, i'm sick of hearing everyone else trying to relate to my experiences, i'm sick of people saying I should be on X medication, I'm sick of my only relation with my mother being her and my current school situation, I'm sick of my only recent positive experiences being in fucking fantasy land, I'm sick of people telling me things I already know like "it's going to be ok", I'm sick of not having the will to do shit and I'm sick of not being able to do what I need to do and instead writing a 3 part rant on reddit on how I feel. --- Thanks for reading that mess.
2020.09.07 14:26 gobbymonster9000Any other Sissy's struggling?
So i normally don't post this kind of "real talk" and prefer to interacting through people on here via my feminine and sexual side but lately I've really felt the need to express honestly some of my problems and barriers engaging people as a sissy. First off for some background i had always been a feminine and somewhat submissive boy growing up, so too have i always remembered struggling with my self image, confidence and socialising with others. I've only ever slept with two guys both as a teen and both meant quite alot to me personally, they also both had very similar reactions afterwards to me which was along the lines of disgust and resentment, afterwards I've only ever dated women and some Trans people. But they all ended around the same issues, myself being either too needy or too distant, and how unreliable i am how often i struggle with suicide feelings, or because of how antisocial and irrational i can be. The list goes on and on but i really struggle so much to connect with anyone anymore, I have only started posting to reddit recently but have been crossdressing for a few years now and whilst i fell in love with the girly clothing and making myself up like a doll. In fact I've taken to this feminine side of me so much i'm already waiting on an appointment to seek hormone blockers and hope to begin oestrogen by early next year. I have also been seeking a real life Dom/daddy to spend time with and help me indulge more of my desires, but it just isn't working out between me and anyone else. I have had plenty of conversations and prepositions but nobody on the same continent as me is even interested in getting to know me or build trust with me. I only ever hear replies when the other person is feeling horny and i assume has nobody better to talk too. I require so much time and patience before actually submitting myself to someone just so i feel like i can trust them and that seems to have made me too needy for anyone to stay interested in. I'm sorry for the rant but i have nowhere else to even talk about this sort of thing and really i'd like to know if anyone else has had this issue and gotten through it? I don't want to have to just wait for a caring stranger to fall in my lap but i have lost so much confidence in myself or my worth and that i cant even imagine myself impressing or approaching a stranger, I cant imagine anyone wanting me apart from a quick discreet pump and dump. I can't see myself really being worth enough to keep around to anyone and it makes my chest ache, is there something wrong with me? am I just being stupid trying to even find anything lasting as a sissy? Should I just stop reaching for a connection with somebody else?
2020.09.06 02:34 forever_single1I will be single forever :(
I know you think I am over exaggerating but there are 5 huge factors working against me.
I am very shy. I cannot approach a woman because of my insecurities and because I don’t want to seem dominant.
I am very submissive. I need the woman to lead in the relationship (especially physically) because I would get very uncomfortable.
I only like trans women (or at least strongly prefer). I think all women are beautiful but trans women have a penis or an artificial vagina which are much less intimidating than a natural vagina to me. If a cis woman was very patient and told me how to pleasure a vagina I could be with a cis woman, but more likely than not they will be expecting me to know what to do and that is very intimidating.
I only find black women attractive. I have tried to like other races but I just can’t. Given the current state of the U.S. I don’t think any black women will want to date a submissive white guy.
I am a sissy crossdresser. I love wearing women’s clothes and makeup. I often dress in lingerie and wear a chastity device on my penis. I feel like I shouldn’t be able to cum unless a woman allows me.
My head feels zapped, collapsing in a nap, The only trap I was born into is my body, A fake imitation is all I can embody. I'm transfixed on what to tell everybody. I need a transplant, I think I need surgery I wanna transcend what's really been hurting me I want to transit across the Atlantic I'm floating into my fantasies, how fantastic. The elastic of reality hits me in the face Men don't cry but I'm a sobbing disgrace. I've been misplaced, I need to be erased, Ignore the aching pencil, let's make it a date. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror Even with my ugly masculine exterior I'm not trans, I just like to crossdress She lies to the body that she hates to undress. 1 2
i last posted on this forum three years ago, in september 2017. the post was archived and i had deleted the throwaway username i used at the time, so i'm reproducing it here, and updating you with everything that has happened since then. i'm guessing a lot of people come to this sub in times of crisis, like i once did, and i want to offer up my experience. sorry it's so long...so much has happened and a lot came back to me that i forgot about while writing it. ---original post--- I'm a cis female in a relationship with my male-bodied partner for 5 years (I'm using male pronouns because he's still in the questioning stage and is still using them). A lot of this we've been long distance, and we are still. He has had some anger and anxiety issues for as long as I have known him, which I finally got him to seek help for this spring. He has crossdressed since childhood but downplayed the role it played in his life until going to therapy, which helped him get over the shame he has felt about this and also realize it is more wrapped up in his identity than he realized. Although he came clean about the crossdressing in April, the identity stuff has been more recent, in the last month or two. He went out in public as a woman a few weeks ago. It was a life-changing experience for him and the level of self-acceptance it gave him has been totally transformative as far as the rest of his mental health. His dysphoria played out in a lot of different ways, but not in the typical thing you hear of hating his body (this post resonates with him a lot http://bigenderdiary.tumblr.com/post/61498047665/that-was-dysphoria-8-signs-and-symptoms-of). He is doing the things he needs to do to explore his gender and is telling close friends what is going on. He isn't sure if he is bigender (he says he thinks he wants the abililty to switch back and forth) or if he's actually trans, though hormones freak him out at this point. We are super communicative and he is working to be totally honest with me about what's going on, but it's relatively early. Anyway, this has been pretty difficult for me. Six months ago I was ready to get married, have babies, be together forever because I'd decided that he was my person. But now I don't know. I've never been super attracted to women and I am very attracted to my partner, but when he talks about body hair removal or other modifications it makes me incredibly sad that his body might never be the way I'm used to again. I feel like it would be easier if he weren't still in the questioning stage and I knew what was coming. Bigender seems easier to accept relationship-wise (though harder socially), where as transgender seems easier to accept socially (more visibility) but harder to accept relationship-wise at this point to me. But maybe it's always hard no matter what it is. My partner and I have a connection that is special and rare and the last few months have brought us emotionally closer than ever. It would break my heart to end it, but I'm not sure I can expand my sexuality enough for this to work out long-term. I'm in love with this person but I'm scared I won't be able to love whoever he becomes. I still haven't seen him en femme (due to long distance) but I'm going to see it soon. So I guess my question is what was it like seeing your partner expressing their gender for the first time? Could you still see them in there? How do you weigh physical attraction compared to other factors? This process has been horrible and lonely and we are both under a lot of other stress right now and I'm really struggling to hold it together. I'm also seeing a therapist and have tried to find support but it's really lacking in this area. ---end original post--- i haven't read that post in a long time, and it's honestly hard for me to read it even now. long story short, my partner and i broke up a little less than a year after i wrote this post (august 2018). i really believed that my partner at the time was "the one" and "my person." i felt like i was willing to do or try anything for us to stay together. i wanted to believe that gender did not matter to me, that our souls were noncorporeal specks in the universe that had found each other against all odds. in the months after i wrote this post, i spiraled into a deep depression. i lost 15 pounds from the stress. when i went home for christmas, my mom thought i looked great. i wished i had the guts to tell her how it's hard to work up the motivation to eat when you're constantly trying to resist the urge to commit suicide. we were finally able to be in the same city a few months later (january 2018) and ended up living together for a few months (not what either of us wanted given the rocky state of our relationship at the time, but was required because my partner was totally broke). so many people i had known for years asked me if i was excited because my partner and i were finally together in one place...i felt like i had to withdraw from my life because i couldn't be honest with people because my partner wasn't out. i felt so isolated. we fought a lot, but because we were trapped together for financial reasons, i felt we couldn't fight freely all the time either. one of the things we did that helped was see a couple's therapist. even though she didn't specialize in gender stuff (and was even sometimes problematic on that front...unfortunately, she was the one that took my partner's insurance that amazingly DID cover it), it helped us compartmentalize the time we spent hashing out our issues and time we spent trying to rebuild our relationship by spending quality time together. i also read a lot during this period - she's not the man i married, the argonauts, she's not there were some of the highlights. this was necessary for my overly intellectual brain but not actually helpful for exploring how i felt about everything. something that was helpful was that i found a woman who was in a similar situation (straight-identifying woman with transfeminine partner) who had gotten married to her partner- she was a friend of a friend on facebook, and i messaged my friend to ask for an introduction. we had a great call on skype - she was super open about everything and i thank her for that. she said that the first month was weird but she got used to it really fast and felt totally great that her partner was feeling great too. it helped me realize how far off i felt from how she felt. my partner was experimenting a lot with clothes and makeup a lot at the time, but still presented as a man (if a somewhat androgynous man) at work. i don't remember when the name/pronoun change became a thing. because she spent so much time switching back and forth between gender presentations, she was never very picky about names and pronouns unless people were intentionally using man name/pronouns when she was presenting as a woman. i didn't find the name/pronoun thing to be a big deal. i had loved my partner's style when presenting as a man, and i found her style as a woman to be really off-putting - it didn't match her personality or what i thought her aesthetic was. over time, she became more of the person i thought she was when presenting as a woman as well, but it was hard at first. she wore so much makeup to cover her stubble. i personally hate makeup even on myself and found her makeup to be a serious barrier to feeling attracted. i also found that sex was a big deal. i am a pretty confident, dominant, not particularly girly woman, but i love being a woman between the sheets and taking on that submissive role, wearing lingerie, and all that. i had a really hard time with the fact that my partner wanted to take on that role too. we started having sex less and less because it brought us further away rather than closer together. she got her own apartment in the spring but still spent most of her time at my place. as the summer went on, we started having more and more conflict. my close friend that she had become friends with had a birthday party and invited her. at the time, she would come to friend events presenting as a woman, but would come to work events as a man. but i worked with this friend too, so to me this counted as a "work" event. i remember feeling like it was unfair for me to bear the emotional burden of her coming out at my workplace when she hadn't done it at her own workplace. i told her that if she wanted to come to my work as herself, she had to be out at her work. to her credit, she came out to her boss that day and came to to party presenting as a woman that night. if i could do it over again, i don't know if i would change my behavior or not. a lot of conflict came to a head when we went on vacation to music festival. we fought the entire time and only managed to see one of the bands - it was truly awful. we were camping at the festival, and my partner was presenting in both genders at various points but using her new name. someone asked her what the name was short for, and she had a longer name that was the answer. this was news to me! it was so hurtful that my partner hadn't even told me what she had decided her full name was. 2 years later, i understand it more. i think she felt like she had to let all the trans stuff out gradually as not to overwhelm me, and she was only figuring it out as she went along herself. i probably would have rather it been laid all out at once, but such a thing is not possible with someone who is still trying to figure it out. the straw that broke the camel's back was when she came out as bisexual and wanted an open relationship. she declared that wanted to pursue sexual relationships with men, something she hadn't been able to do since we had been together at that point for nearly 6 years. at the time i was devastated, but now i'm glad she did this. this demand finally made it clear to me how much i'd compromised about what i wanted. even if she had once been "the one," this clearly wasn't true anymore. within a week of this declaration, i called an emergency couple's therapy session and broke up with her there. 2 years after we broke up, we are still friends. we see each other frequently (socially distantly, of course) and text weekly. there were some rocky times in the middle for sure, especially when she wasn't doing well and didn't have a good support system in our city yet. unfortunately, her family has not been as supportive as we had hoped they would be. but, she's done a lot of work to get better. she started antidepressants and has built friends and life outside of mine. the "end game" of my partner's gender presentation was not and is not totally clear. she definitely seems more like herself now than when she first started presenting as a woman, has gotten clothes that match her aesthetic, and is more comfortable with an androgynous or ambiguous presentation. after a brief foray into hormones, she decided they weren't for her, but she might change her mind. she pierced her ears and has gotten a lot of laser hair removal and electrolysis (though it hasn't worked perfectly). i would guess she'll get top surgery at some point, but i doubt she'll ever get bottom surgery. a lot of people think that my aversion to being with my partner comes down to dicks getting cut off and a bunch of gender=medicalization bullshit. i usually don't try to correct them about how it's a lot more complicated than that. it was really, really hard to figure out that i couldn't be with my partner whether bigender or trans was the eventual outcome. at the end of the day, i was attracted to someone who no longer exists in the same way. that person wasn't her true self. it was extra hard because i know and am friends with lots of trans and gender-nonconforming people. i know several trans people who have transitioned over the course of a romantic relationship. to this day, we are the only couple i know IRL that has broken up because of it. i wanted to believe it didn't matter to me. i felt like a bad person because it mattered to me. to this day, i wish it didn't matter to me. but it does. now, she has a new girlfriend and they seem really happy. i dated a new guy for a year, although we broke up recently, and i never loved him as much as i loved her. i'm honestly afraid i might never find someone as much as i loved her, and i'm jealous of her new girlfriend, but i also know that us being together just doesn't work anymore. i still feel a lot of pain about this relationship, but i've done a lot to work through it and i feel so much better than i did two years ago. so anyway, i'm amazed if you got to the end of this rambling...i just thought it might be helpful to hear from someone for whom it did not "work out" but that can also be the right decision. i send my love and compassion to anyone in a similar situation. i felt so alone. know that there are others out there struggling with you too. <3
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